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悲剧，是自身认知局限的替罪羊- 铁树，不要妄言jiaoyou8 的大侠和美女没爱过不知痛， 人人都会有刻骨铭心的遗憾，或早或迟 所以才懂得来这里关心 每一封规劝都是他们的心裂，他们的思考，火凤凰般的重生 所以，字字玑珠 希望你字斟句酌， 品味他人的智慧 不要反驳。。。。。。 不要反感。。。。。。
勇，是相对的 比如美军派遣部队帮助攻打北越共产党 美军战士认为自己爱国而英勇战死 其实他们只是美国历史上的一段耻辱 是政客夺了他们的命 还要在他们的尸体上搭上耻辱标记 你，铁树 你目前认知上的局限剥夺了你的内存精华 正如当年我的“政客”指示我去买了块美丽的大石头 欲将自己沉入湖底 信亏园林管理处的经理 不问我的故事 只派一个大学毕业的清纯女孩请我吃饭 我才得以保留这块石头 现在赠与给你 希望你不要反格斗。。。。。 因为我和你之间不需要胜负 请你要保留这块石头 等你的风暴过后再投给另一个失恋的人
对曾经的她和她的未婚夫 请你不要反唇相讥。。。。。。 如果俩人化学吸引褪去 还有一份相敬如宾 如果分手要靠恶化旧情人 可能是她的无奈 （在心理学上有一个专门名词） 你男子汉要给她一个台阶下 才得以保留自己的尊严
还有一份 你对女性的尊重 你对一条命的尊重 你对自己的，对她的尊重 尊重她的选择， 或错或对都是她的权利 不是以爱的名义，你就可以剥夺他人的权利 也不是凭着为她好的动机，你就可以干扰他人的生活 理解她，和多数人一样，她不过是想今后的日子好过一点
铁树，听从你自己内心的正义，善良，体贴，尊严。。。。
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Why Older Chicks Rule女人四十，一统江湖 by Andy Rooney from CBS "60 Minutes".
“60分钟时事”名嘴妙言40岁以上的女人
This is for all you girls 40 years and over.... and for those who are turning 40, and for those who are scared of moving into their 50's...AND 60's..and for guys who are scared of girls over 40!!!!
Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. “40+的女人是有尊严的，一般不屑跟你在歌剧院或者高档餐馆里大声争吵。当然了，一旦遇到犯贱的男人，而且又确知能够逃避惩罚的话，她们会干脆利落把你给一枪毙了。”（Seacoast想起电影《芝加哥》里的女人）
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is
far sexier than her younger counter part.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
“要是能白白得到牛奶，我何必去把整头母牛给买回家！”我要给持如此论调的男人一个最新参考，那就是80%的女人都反对结婚成家。她们认为：“我只要那条香肠，犯不着把那整头猪给买回来。” |
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By Kurt Takamine, Ed.D., Chapman University
IMDiversity.com In a study conducted in 1992, two social scientists (Duleep & Sanders) made the following observation:
Highly educated men in all Asian groups earn less than comparable whites when occupation and industry are taken into account. Conceivably, extensive formal schooling and particular fields of study enable American-born Asian men to enter high-paying occupations and industries, but within these occupations and industries, Asian men may be underrepresented in higher-paying positions because of discrimination. [Italics mine] These scientists said, out loud, what other observers were only whispering at the time: that the glass ceiling was as real for Asian Pacific Americans (APAs) as it was for women, other minorities, and other disenfranchised groups. But that was over ten years ago. How does the APA scorecard look today?
Unfortunately, the current situation does not look much better. Dr. Clifford Cheng (1997) studied the Fortune 500, and found that only 0.3% of senior level executives were of APA descent. This number is particularly disturbing when one considers that 8.9% of the scientific and engineering labor force was APA (Tang, 1997). What accounts for the disparity between the APA labor statistics and the dearth of APA executive representation in corporate America?
In a more recent study, one researcher found that 87.1% of APAs personally witnessed the use of the "Old Boys' Network" in their workplace (Takamine, 2000). In that same study, 78.6% of APAs reported that they worked for companies with executive teams composed entirely of white males or a combination of white males and white females. So, is the problem with discrimination, or is the problem with APAs not positioning themselves for career advancement opportunities?
The answer is probably "Yes" to both of those questions. One action research study recently noted that three out of four APAs interviewed felt that their company did not actively promote and develop APAs as executives (Takamine, 2000). What can be done to rectify this situation?
If this problem is to be properly addressed, all stakeholders have work to do. There needs to be a three-pronged attack to alleviate this APA under-representation in the executive ranks. The first prong is that Asian Pacific Americans (APAs) must first understand how to properly position themselves for executive advancement in their companies. The second prong relates to alleviating misperceptions that European American executives hold regarding APAs in the workforce, including the elimination of any cultural barriers that preclude career advancement. And the third prong raises the question as to the role of government [i.e., the Department of Labor and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)] in alleviating the disparity between APAs and executive positions. Let's examine each one of these concerns.
Prong Number One: Position Ourselves for Career Advancement
APAs are often under the mistaken notion that hard work and technical excellence alone will get them noticed by upper management. This is simply not true. Technical competence is assumed at the middle management level. So the difference between those who are seen as strong executive candidates and those who are "not ready for prime time" can be related to what we can call "Emotional Intelligence".
Emotional Intelligence (Cherniss & Goleman, 2001) looks at the interpersonal skills that are mandatory for executive performance (such as organizational awareness, development of colleagues, visionary leadership, and strong communication skills) and intrapersonal skills (for example, self-confidence, emotional self-control, adaptability, and risk-taking). These are people skills that many APAs need to hone.
This is confirmed by the U.S. Department of Labor Glass Ceiling Commission (Wernick, 1994), which found that women and minorities (including APAs) must:
Learn to communicate in a compelling manner. Communication, whether through verbal or written modes, is vital for a leader. APAs need to find their voice in communicating their ideas, passions, and visions to others. Understand the value of networking. Networking, or Social Capital, is essential for climbing the corporate ladder. One VP at Capital One described how poster boards are displayed in a meeting with executive candidates' photos glued onto them. The CEO then will go to each display and ask, "How many of you know this candidate?" If no one raises a hand, that candidate is summarily dismissed. One question is, how many executives know you? Another might be, how many company social events are you involved in? Company parties are a great place to interface with otherwise inaccessible executives. Seek out mentors and sponsors. The Old Boys' Network exists because young white males have traditionally understood that they need a champion to provide them with inside information and to act as an advocate for their career promotion. APAs tend to feel that they don't need anyone's help, or can't ask for it. They couldn't be more wrong. Pursue broad and varied training. You're highly accomplished in your engineering sector? Great! But you also need some experience in marketing, design, finance, perhaps even human resources. If you can't get transferred laterally, at least make connections with others in these key areas, and volunteer to work on multi-disciplinary teams. Educate others about the culture. White males might think that APAs don't have the requisite leadership qualities because they don't challenge their supervisors. This reticence to challenge a supervisor might be a cultural value (called High Power Distance, as studied by Hofstede, 1991). In some Asian circles, publicly challenging a superior is considered taboo. The European American male needs to understand that there is value in exploring other leadership constructs.
Now that we have explored a few self-development tasks APAs must consider, let's examine some areas where the (usually) European American executive also has a little work to do.
Prong Number Two: Addressing the Misperceptions of European American Executives
In prong number one, we examined the problems from the APA vantage point. In prong number two, the executive misperceptions need to be addressed. For example:
Many European American executives believe that APAs are deficient in necessary communication skills. There may be some truth to this. Some recent immigrants or first generation employees, for example, may themselves feel that their vocabulary is not proficient enough for executive communication. Two researchers (Blank & Slip, 1994) found that non-Asians would become impatient with some APAs in conversation and finish their sentences for them. However, APAs are not a monolithic group. You can't compare a first-generation immigrant from Vietnam with a fifth-generation Chinese American who grew up solely in America. Many European American executives assume that APA candidates are "in the pipeline," so it's only a matter of time before more APAs appear in executive ranks. This is simply not the case. Such a passive approach to executive development is little more than "wishful thinking". Mentors and sponsors must advocate for APA candidates, and mitigate the paucity of APA executives in the Fortune 1000. APA managers are not aggressive enough and ignore the power "game." For some APAs, this is a truism. There are others, however, who desire to learn about the power dynamics in their institution, but find that information is surreptitiously hidden from this ethnic group. European American executives need to take the initiative in revealing the corporate protocol to the uninitiated. APAs do not have adequate social networks, and are antisocial. Are APAs antisocial, or do APAs socialize with the "wrong" crowds? Ibarra (1995) found that minorities at first tended to aggregate with the dominant culture (usually European Americans). In the second phase, minorities would exclude the European American workers, and attach themselves to their own (or similar) ethnic groups. In the third and final phase, the minority employee would avail him- or herself of both the European American and minority groups, and find a balance with all groups. So European Americans may feel that APAs are anti-social if they observe APAs during the second phase of social interactions.
For an employer, as for the APA professional, education is in order. Learning about Asian Pacific American cultures and values can be helpful in demolishing some stereotypes and positioning APAs for productive career advancement steps to the benefits of the employee and the organization. From both perspectives, the last prong is perhaps the most controversial and least savory of the alternatives for rectifying this situation. This is the government involvement or litigation prong. Prong Number Three: The Role of Government in APA Career Advancement
Is governmental pressure needed to force your company to promote APA middle managers into executive positions? This question was asked of middle managers in a recent study, and the results were evenly split (Takamine, 2000). One third of the respondents answered in the affirmative, 29% opposed any government involvement, and 38% were uncertain. As any Human Resources Director will tell you, however, governmental pressure as related to federal contracts is highly effective. When the government tells a company it must abide by federal regulations that company will comply. If the government restricted its business dealings with those companies that demonstrate an equitable distribution of APA executives in its ranks, the effect would be enormous.
What about litigation? More APAs are beginning to bring their cases to the EEOC and to labor law attorneys. As legal pressure begins to mount, more corporations will begin to examine their policies and procedures as they relate to the Asian Pacific American plight.
Conclusion
This three-pronged attack must be conducted simultaneously to experience its full synergistic effect. APAs must take responsibility for their situation, and utilize resources at their disposal (legal, educational, social) to influence the power brokers. European American executives need to avail themselves of expert studies and education resources to reshape and expand their thinking and alter misperceptions. And the courts and commissions relating to labor issues must intervene to eliminate this clear disparity with APAs and executive advancement. In this way, corporations will "do the right thing" as they productively invest in their key resource: their people.
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交友文化大革命
小时候做红小兵在舞台上表演过批斗一招，就是连跺三次脚，指着瘫在台上演坏人的同学说：“你！你！你！你这个坏东西！”现在这个坏东西指的就是SowhatSowhat.  你以为你是一夫当关万夫莫凯呀， 把这么多人都拉出来搞海龟 to 妖女革命, 辩论所谓回国泡妞. 秀才娘子把她的宁式床都搬出来了。 吓！什么东西！革命了，革命了。。。有的人拿情来盖理；有的人以动粗来当理；有的人以骂街来泄气，有的人走了光还以为在理。连举人张朝阳也给剪了辫子啦！不得了，搞不好要杀头嘀。 我是阿Q, 虽然感情上想帮MM, 可惜革命水平不够彻底。这个SowhatSowhat 辩论起来有三条罪状：第一，逻辑死严；第二，对人事认知能力毒。第三，思路贼清晰。以我阿Q的理智还是要给SowhatSowhat举白旗: “大不了画个圈圈，20年后我又是一条好汉/女！”。 我阿Q还有一招比摸一把烧火丫头的奶子还过隐，就是把我信箱里张朝阳的Email地址给挖出来，我要将SowhatSowhat推进举人大院里做文书，这样一旦辩论不过他，张朝阳举人和手下的小兵瘌痢头好就近给他两记耳光吃吃。打了他左脸，要他把右脸凑上来。不然张举人的律师跟他没完。 革命成功了，批斗成功了。。。西风开始压倒东风！形势一片大好！“交友文化大革命”快结束了。现在是期末考试季节，大家不要给SowhatSowhat 蛊惑来革命，你考好了你得利. Do you job, GDP goes up. 你花时间来网上革命, 没人生产粮食了，我买你们革命双方的人血馒头吃。 |
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转帖：乐观人生81言，你能做到几条？_ZT 1.每天告诉自己一次，『我真的很不错』。 2.生气是拿别人做错的事来惩罚自己。
3.生活中若没有朋友，就像生活中没有阳光一样。 4.明天的希望，让我们忘了今天的痛苦。 5.生活若剥去理想、梦想、幻想，那生命便只是一堆空架子。 6.发光并非太阳的专利，你也可以发光。 7.愚者用肉体监视心灵，智者用心灵监视肉体。 8.获致幸福的不二法门是珍视你所拥有的、遗忘你所没有的。 9.贪婪是最真实的贫穷，满足是最真实的财富。 0.你可以用爱得到全世界，你也可以用恨失去全世界。 1 11.人的价值，在遭受诱惑的一瞬间被决定。 12.年轻是我们唯一拥有权利去编织梦想的时光。
13.青春一经典当即永不再赎。 14.没有了爱的语言，所有的文字都是乏味的。 15.真正的爱，应该超越生命的长度、心灵的宽度、灵魂的深度。 16.爱的力量大到可以使人忘记一切，却又小到连一粒嫉妒的沙石也不能容纳。 17.当一个人真正觉悟的一刻，他放弃追寻外在世界的财富，而开始追寻他内心世界的真正财富。 18.只要有信心，人永远不会挫败? 19.不论你在什么时候开始，重要的是开始之后就不要停止。 20.不论你在什么时候结束，重要的是结束之后就不要悔恨。 21.人若软弱就是自己最大的敌人。 22.人若勇敢就是自己最好的朋友。 23.『不可能』只存在于蠢人的字典里。 24.抱最大的希望，为最大的努力，做最坏的打算。 25.家！甜蜜的家！天下最美好的莫过于家。 26.游手好闲会使人心智生锈。 27.每一件事都要用多方面的角度来看它。 28.有理想在的地方，地狱就是天堂。 29.有希望在的地方，痛苦也成欢乐。 30.所有的胜利，与征服自己的胜利比起来，都是微不足道。 31.所有的失败，与失去自己的失败比起来，更是微不足道。 32.上帝从不埋怨人们的愚昧，人们却埋怨上帝的不公平。 33.美好的生命应该充满期待、惊喜和感激。 34.世上最累人的事，莫过于虚伪的过日子。 35.觉得自己做的到和不做的到，其实只在一念之间。 36.第一个青春是上帝给的；第二个的青春是靠自己努力的。 37.少一点预设的期待，那份对人的关怀会更自在。 38.思想如钻子，必须集中在一点钻下去才有力量。 39.人只要不失去方向，就不会失去自己。! 40.如果你曾歌颂黎明，那么也请你拥抱黑夜。 41.问候不一定要慎重其事，但一定要真诚感人。 42.人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。 43.当你能飞的时候就不要放弃飞。 44.当你能梦的时候就不要放弃梦。 45.当你能爱的时候就不要放弃爱。 46.生命太过短暂，今天放弃了明天不一定能得到。 47.天才是百分之一的灵感加上百分之九十九的努力。 48.人总是珍惜未得到的，而遗忘了所拥有的。 49.快乐要懂得分享，才能加倍的快乐。 50.自己要先看得起自己，别人才会看得起你。 51.一个今天胜过两个明天。 52.要铭记在心；每天都是一年中最美好的日子。 53.乐观者在灾祸中看到机会；悲观者在机会中看到灾祸。 54.有勇气并不表示恐惧不存在，而是敢面对恐惧、克服恐惧。 55.肯承认错误则错已改了一半。 56.明天是世上增值最快的一块土地，因它充满了希望。 57.理想的路总是为有信心的人预备着。 58.所有欺骗中，自欺是最为严重的。 59.人生最大的错误是不断担心会犯错。 60.把你的脸迎向阳光，那就不会有阴影。 61.经验是由痛苦中粹取出来的。 62.男人要捧,女人要哄o 婚前挑缺点,婚后看优点o 63.用最少的浪费面对现在。 64.用最多的梦面对未来。 65.快乐不是因为拥有的多而是计较的少。 66.你的选择是做或不做，但不做就永远不会有机会。 67.如你想要拥有完美无暇的友谊，可能一辈子找不到朋友。 68.不如意的时候不要尽往悲伤里钻，想想有笑声的日子吧。 69.把自己当傻瓜，不懂就问，你会学的更多。 70.要纠正别人之前，先反省自己有没有犯错。 71.因害怕失败而不敢放手一搏，永远不会成功。 72.要克服生活的焦虑和沮丧，得先学会做自己的主人。 73.你不能左右天气，但你能转变你的心情。 74.孤单寂寞与被遗弃感是最可怕的贫穷。 75.想象力比知识更重要。 76.漫无目的的生活就像出海航行而没有指南针。 77.好好扮演自己的角色，做自己该做的事。 78.一切伟大的行动和思想，都有一个微不足道的开始。 79.得意时应善待他人，因为你失意时会需要他们。 80.学做任何事得按部就班，急不得。 81.养成更好的思考习惯,就可以改变生活。
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前院有一小片草地，花了3年时间把它翻作花圃。第一年在中央挖一个大洞，先种上芍药花。在贫瘠的实地里生根，她的生命力很强， 竟然成活了，瘦瘦小小的。 以为自己懂得了种植， 第二年春天将草地全挖了，撒上各种花籽。等呀等，眼巴巴看邻家院子花团锦簇，一直到秋天来了，才发现我花铺上只有野草一样的几棵东西，也不认得它是花还是草。 下决心第三年可不能再剃光头了，赶紧向左右邻居讨教，还借了一大堆书来看。到第三年春夏，我的花圃里是大小高矮什么颜色都有了。还有可食用的植物。正中间那朵牡丹开得大大粉粉的。有天上班回来，累得背都直不起来了，心情也好低落。忽然看到一张明信片，寄给我信箱却没有收件人姓名：“You have created a beautiful garden. Thank you !”（你造出了一个美丽的花园，谢谢你！） 上面没有签名。是谁在忙碌中给我寄来一片春风？那一刻我心底那种欢啊， 两脚打了两个圈圈才停下来，连忙将这表扬信贴在冰箱门上。 我辛劳地铺表土，挖地，带着草帽在烈日下除草，还要根据花的形体颜色喜好，设计种在在哪个位子，还要保证与邻家花种不同，不同的月份要有不同的花开出来。一番辛苦因为自家酷爱花。 谁知园中花，棵棵皆辛苦。难为过路人先由赏花， 既而想到背后流汗的人， 还花时间去邮寄对我的一份感谢。这份来自陌生人的情谊令我的由衷地喜悦， 好心情一直持续了好几个星期。 在一次去见工面试的途中，我心中感到不安，向一个抱书的中年陌生人问路，他热心地介绍给我转地铁的办法，说他是赶去他的学校考试。 接着不断翻着他的生物书，热情洋溢地问我知不知道这个单词，那个术语，见我还能明白几个词，就好像是找到了知音，其实我只不过在大学马马虎虎对付了一入门课，由于找钱重要，早把它还给老师了。 可是我还是静静听他讲下去，我明白他不需要我这个学金融的对生物学有多了解， 他只是需要一个听众，一个明白他感情的人。作为倾听的结果，我自己的心情平静下来，对自己的得失不再担心焦虑。想必他也对他的考试也感到没原来那么担忧了，因为我称赞他掌握的知识丰富， 希望会令他在考卷面前更自信。 一个人走在路上，擦肩而过的陌生人常常会对我微笑，说：“Hi， How are you doing today ?” | | | | |
