难得有机会跟母亲一起做晚饭, 母亲诺诺, 念念旧事, 说:"我对月说姨娘(指我)结婚前什么菜也不会做, 现在做的菜蛮好吃的, 逼出来的."  我回道:"做菜又不是开颅手术,没那么难吧. " 单身时从来没烧过饭菜给父母亲吃. 都是他们做给我, 还要逼我使劲撑饱. 后来离开家又有下属, 一位很忠心的女孩做饭给我吃. 记得到北京出差前, 是男友帮助烫直西裤, 帮我将所有用品折叠在箱子里码放整齐. 说起来他并不是典型体贴入微的江南人, 而是客家人, 一位有洁癖, 极聪明的电脑软件师, 衣着朴素大方却总是角角棱棱, 电脑周围毫无灰尘的. 他倒水喝总是取半杯饮, 问他为何, 回答:"倒满杯一旦喝不完, 放在那里时间长了会漂一层灰." 自从结婚后, 样样自己做, 夜夜熬着照顾小孩, 一边读大学, 只要怀有一份信念, 也甘心情愿. 问题是希望配偶能够感谢太太的贡献. 可是, 终究不如在外面赚钱养家的人那么得意.

坐下来吃饭, 我教女儿和来家作客的大学好友说中文:"谢谢外婆做饭给我们吃." 两个小朋友一起念一遍. 外婆微笑着, 然后大家动筷子. 外婆说我做成的海鱼味道不错, 青菜也保持了绿色.

饭后我说:"姆妈我给你看我上台跳舞的照片, 好吧?" 母亲好奇说好啊. 我接着哄她说:"那你弹钢琴给我听, 好不好? " 母亲正开着冰箱, 我从后侧面看到她灿灿地笑, 我就喜欢看到她发自肺腑的笑容. 母亲说:"那些老歌都忘光了. " 我说:"只要我一唱, 你就听出调子弹出来嘛."

母亲坐在琴前, 围腰也还没解掉. 我说:"怎么能戴着炒菜的围腰来弹呢?" 一边就摸摸她给揭开了结. 母亲从我唱:"送君送到大树下, 君的恩情永不忘,...."开始弹, 到来后就来个狗尾续貂, 接上了"主席的光芒照四方"那一首歌去了. 她自己还想不起来究竟岔到哪一首那里.

Raoul

No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Christine
Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Raoul
Let me be your shelter, let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you, your fears are far behind you.

Christine
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Raoul
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from you solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Christine
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.

Together
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Christine
Say you love me...

Raoul
You know I do.

Together
Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Anywhere you go let me go too

Love me...
that's all I ask of you.

华人圈子里的非洲食物链

早年出洋的中国人有意无意地看不起,或者干脆明码贬低新移民; “老屁眼”(上海话管扎下根基的早到者叫做"老屁眼")对新来的 “呆头鹅”之杀伤程度远超过美国人对中国人的损害.说起来驾驭英语的能力只不过是一种语言掌握程度, 不知何时起, 英语的好坏变成了衡量一个华人是否sophisticated  的标准. 移民超过15, 甚至 20 年的人对着我的语法错误,说拼写错误或者 “社交失误” 洋洋得意, 象我这样出国10年的再转身snob(势利)其他来美才5年的华人, 来美已经5年的又转身嘲笑刚下飞机的兜里揣了5块钱. 老移民利用新移民做为廉价老动力, 这已经是多年沿袭制了,不足为奇.  非洲的食物链大约就是这样形成的.

有得必有失

一个男人寻求缓解生理上的当前压力, 释放他的荷而蒙. 这样做往往削弱他对一个理想对象的渴求程度.这样, 当他遇到一位真正喜欢的女人的时候, courtships 就变得相对松垮, 爱得肤浅. 而且, 花柳行为, 譬如定期注射吗啡, 是一种难以克制的惯性,令人无法建立彼此之间的信任. 如此, 双方很难形成deep bound.

 性事方面的忠诚, 与其说是为了某个她而不烂交, 还不如说是为了对自己保持忠诚,也是为了保持 ‘器具’不被病毒感染, 不传播病毒.

It is a kind of amusement to observe men making lies on the top of their lies. They create their vicious circle like this: after making the 1^st lie, they’d have to create additional lies, striving to stick with the previous fictions.  They might think that they are smart enough to patch their poor logic assuming women’s kindnesses (of pretend to believe so that the man won’t feel lose face) are foolishness. I have being enjoying their "shows" while they were enjoying create em. It is a Win-Win game.

Hey, wonderful entertainments, guys, go ahead and make more for me.

Tuesday evening @9:30 pm, finished a staging performance , headed back to office.  was too busy to buy a dinner for myself, or maybe I was not in the mood for the fast food.

Today it is the first day in 10+ years to accept the color of pink. I put a peach colored pinkish sweater on my body for real. A coworker said:" It looks good on you."  A classmate said:" The color looks good on you. You know why-- Because your skin is pale." Yes. I was aware that pink looks good on me, the problem is ---- I have long time fear of pink ---I hate to look like a babyish woman.

Honestly, I like olive skinned men and women, if the skin color is from their out door sports activities. I think whoever looks healthier would appear to be sexier.  Today干活干累了.... then tonight was still jumping along with my dance classmates again. Hope that I could be sexy too.

Tomorrow, will attend a formal dinner party hosted by local government departments. After the party, I'll have to rush into Whole Foods to buy a fruity BD cake for someone. 

For this coming Sunday, I was selected to be a model for the Asian Silver Screen Festival Gala party.   

 am eating the life.

A grown up daughter of the dancing classmate traveled back to China with the mother. The daughter would take an umbrella with her whenever she went out of the door. The mother was puzzled and asked the daughter why she needs the umbrella so often. The answer was that the daughter used it for her privacy in the lady’s room since there is usually no private stall in China’s public toilettes. I took my 6 years old daughter back to the most modernized cities in China, and still she would hold on from using the restroom in one or two restaurants because they are simply different from what she is used to. Actually we stayed in upscale places so the conditions are quite good in luxury hotels and restaurants.  In the most common places where the public crowds’ consumption is high, you just have to hold you bladder and bowel as long as possible until you finish the meal and run back to your house bathroom. A lot of American grown Chinese would complain about the toilettes’ lack of sanitation and supplies in China. The smells are horrible even if you are far away. The kids would feel like to reject their cultural connection due to their disgusted feeling towards Chinese people who spit in the public space. This is typical of a juvenile point of view that one minor sample aspect would represent the whole population or whole picture. My dancing classmates concluded that our old country folks like to keep the front polished, yet ignore the ‘back stage’ details. However, China is trying very hard to modernize the country and the pace is stunningly fast. Shanghai alone had changed so much just 3 years after my last visit in 2004. Now that I have not yet been back for about 4 years, I would look forward to see the renewed old town again.   

Today 4 of my dance classmates (as we always dress well to get into Starbucks in the group) talked about culture differences and corporate taxes. It was a funny chat. I will share with you a bit in a time through this diary, so please keep checking and see if I have got time to update it.   

I have not tried to eat the pork ears and livers for over 10 years. However I tried to trick my daughter's Dad to eat pork inestine and "Red Tofu".  He did not know that the pork intestine could tase so spicy so good untill the last morsel.  As he picked the last juicy bit from the boiling pot he paused to ask, "What am I eating?"  I replied with only a coy grin while the loopy stringy intestine drapped round his fork.   As he realized it could only be pork intestine, and I confiirmed with that it was - and that my other American friend enjoys it very much - but then he quit eating.

Friday I had ordered a dish highly recommended by one of my dancing beauties. It was a dish that contains pork liver, ears, and tongue. I found that I am no longer used to the smell and the texture of the livers and ears although I know the liver is good for our body because it is rich in vitamin B. I can eat the American countryside style goose liver and French style Pate, but can no longer bear the smell of pork liver alone. The ears tast scarily crunching in my mouth.  Ah, cannot have it any more

The first clip is from American movie "Shall We Dance?". There was a Japanese movie prior to this one. The best part of the movie, to my point of view, is this 3 minutes of dance.

The second clip is from mivie "Take the Lead". I have not seen it yet.

舞蹈是动态的构图和雕塑，专业舞者经过训练，已经不需要花心思记动作，日臻熟练以后，则可以做到忘记周围一切，进入状态。探戈是两个人之间的高度默契，一致投入，充满激情， 犹如做爱的艺术， 要有专注的的引力和反引力， 要么不做，要做的前提一定是2个人的相互欣赏爱恋。如果单单为了释放生理压力，性如入厕，则宁缺毋滥。

Shall We Dance?

from wikipedia.org

Tikki Tikki Tembo is a story set in ancient China, which provided the basis for a 1968 book by Arlene Mosel illustrated by Blair Lent, aimed at children from Kindergarten to Grade 2. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this retelling (and others) are severely wrong about some aspects of Chinese culture, so questions have arisen as to the story's origins and validity.

The story is about a family with two sons, in which the first-born and honoured son gets a long name and the other son gets a short name (by tradition, according to the story). The first born son's full name is Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo which, according to the story, means "the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world". The second son's name is Chang which means "little or nothing" in the story.

Other versions of the name are: Rikki tikki instead of Tikki tikki (not to be confused with Rikki-Tikki-Tavi) and Nikki Nikki Tembo-No So Rembo-Oo Ma Moochi-Gamma Gamma Goochi.

In reality, all of Tikki Tikki Tembo's names are gibberish, not actual Chinese, and there is no Chinese dialect in which "Chang" means "little or nothing". Likewise, the idea that first-born sons used to get long names and other children hardly any is not an accurate portrayal of the culture. Some suggest it is actually a take-off on a Japanese story - the presence of several R's and absence of L's, and the occurrence of syllables ending in 'o' and the combination 'uchi', in Tikki Tikki Tembo's full name suggests a Japanese rather than Chinese influence - but it does not accurately reflect Japanese culture, either.

The Story

Once upon a time there was a family that lived in China. Chinese people believed that giving your first child a long name means to have good luck. Their first child's name was Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo. His name meant everything wonderful in Chinese. Their second child's name was Chang, which meant "little or nothing".

Everyday, their mother would go down to the river to do the laundry, and the boys would follow her there to play. Each time, their mother would say to them "Little ones, play all you want, but do not go near the well." One day the two brothers were playing by the well. Chang fell into the well. Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo ran to tell his mother. "Most honourable mother, please come! Chang has fallen into the well!"

"Oh, that troublesome boy," cried Mother, "Go get the old man with the ladder to fish him up!"

So, Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo went to see the old man with the ladder. "Oh, old man with the ladder," he cried, "Chang has fallen into the well,please come and fish him up!" So the old man with the ladder went down to the well with Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari pip pari pembo. He climbed down the ladder into the well and fished little Chang up. He pumped the water out of him, and pushed the air in to him.He pumped the water out of him, and pushed the air into him. Soon, Chang was good as before.

Many days had passed since Chang fell into the well. The children did not go near the well until it was the Moon Festival. They took their mooncakes to the well to eat. Soon, they were playing on the well again. As Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip pei pembo walked on the well he suddenly slipped and fell in. Little Chang went to get his mother.

"Most honourable mother,please come! Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo has fallen into the well!" "Speak up little one,the water is rushing, and I cannot hear you." So little Chang took a deep breath and said "Oh most honourable mother,please come help! Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo has fallen into the well!" His mother still couldn't hear him. He tried again. "Most honourable mother...chari ruchi tikki tikki.... peri pip sa...no rembo pembo..bari tembo in ...well..." "Oh Chang! Speak your brothers name with reverence!" So little Chang took another breath, and this time said it slowly. "Most ho-nour-a-ble mo-ther,Ti-kki- ti-kki- tem-bo no sa rem-bo char-i bar-i ru-chi pip per-i pem-bo has fallen into the well!"

"Oh no!" cried Mother "Not my baby!Go get the old man with the ladder to fish him up!" So Chang ran to the old man with the ladder. "Old man with the ladder!" Chang shouted. But the old man did not answer. "Old man with the ladder!" Chang shouted again. This time the old man woke up. "Oh child!" he cried," You just woke me up from my dream. I dreamed that I once again had my youth, and golden sunlight. Perhaps if I close my eyes again, I will return." "Old man," Chang cried, "my brother has fallen into the well. Please come help fish him up!" "Oh, so I hear your mother's pearl has fallen into the well. I'll come and fish him up for her." So the old man with the ladder went down to the well with Chang to help Tikki tikki tembo no sa tembo chari bari ruchie pip peri pembo out of the well. He climbed down the ladder into the well and fished up Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo. He pumped the water out of him, and pushed the air into him. But Tikki tikki tembo no sa rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri pembo, had been in the water so long, it took more than 12 full moons before he was well again.

From then on, Chinese parents have always given their children short names.

Retellings

A story found in 1967 by a now-retired librarian from the Long Beach Public Library has the version with a longer name for Tikki Tikki Tembo. It is Tiki Tiki Tembo No Sa Rembo Hari Bari Ruchi Ip Peri Pendo Kiki Pom Pom Michi Me No Amo Dom Bo Rico. This version is from before 1967. She stated because it is a folktale, the origin is probably not known.

The version of the story related above is the one told in the 1968 book version by Arlene Mosel. In some other tellings, Tikki Tikki Tembo drowns before he can be rescued.

Ta, 放浪无形，又派头十足，游荡低俗酒肆，插足大雅之堂。 

Ta,  不落俗谱， 却严守一套规则。 

Ta,  有时一人买醉，演绎华彩，有时3人高度默契，高潮迭起。 

Ta,  出生低微。 可以是庶出桑巴，可以是美洲的简俗，也可以是欧洲的高贵。说不明，道不清，Ta令我欲火中烧，在停车场， 在方向盘上舞蹈手指，在床上，在椅子上，如痴如醉，欲罢不能。 --- Ta,  与钢琴师，萨克管手，低音玄手，贝司演奏passion, drama 感情&经历. 有时以沙磨之嗓音， 唱着沧桑,深情。

他是我深爱的爵士乐。

This clip is from the "Desperate Housewives". The music is "Manha de Carnaval (Morning of The Carnaval)", 出自电影《Black Orpheus》的原声中的一首, 由Luiz Bonf 作曲的Manha de Carnaval has 很典型的巴西Bossa Nova flavor. I think it is a kind of Fusion Jazz. 先推荐这首由Tori Amos演唱的Carnival, 是用英语来唱的,而不是原语, 与原曲风味不同, 出自电影Mission impossible:2 的电影原声.

I heard a wondersful Jazz piano version from local Jazz station WDUQ after the NPR program,  是一个演奏版,钢琴的悠扬+萨克斯的深沉十分动听. I have heard a slow version piano Jazz music for Manha de Carnaval, and I cannot get that WDUQ version out of my mind. It is more alive and energetic. I cannot find who played that version and where to find it.