RE Henryhudson's diary:"The Unjust Fate of Chinese Women"

I have categorized men into 3 groups:

1.  Those who purely seek sensational thrill via sex life, sports and even through the trading of money, etc.

2.  Those who drill into cognitive world and get lost in different schools of philosophy including religious believes.

3. Those who balance between the sensational thrill and intellectual/critical thinking.

I tend to like a man of the 3rd type and I bet the majority of Chinese men would claim to be the 3^rd type instead of the 1^st type.  

From biological standpoint, if sex and marriage is about robbing a young beauty's gene for high quality reproduction, then once a man has accomplished the goal he shall live happily ever after, yet above our selfish genetic calls we have some spiritual level calls as well. To me, a compatible husband and wife need to have both emotional connections, intellectual understanding on top of their physical attraction. I’d say that finding a physical attractive, emotionally attentive, and intellectually compatible partner is the most time-consuming task with the smallest success probability. Many of us choose to compromise our standards by going for physical attraction only or going for what’s available out there, then we’d regret after a number of years' of married life, that is one reason we’d have our midlife crisis. 

To many Chinese men, perhaps the physical attraction (ie, a woman's beauty and youth, perhaps with a touch of her cunning street smartness) is by far the most critical if not the solely important aspect to fall in love with. This to me it is deemed to be problematic in a man’s later life after he gets more mature and reaches some what higher intellectual level given that a Chinese wife, in general, do not have the chances to grow in parity with the husband. 

I view an ideal loving relationship as this:

1. Physically compatible (healthy built, not too old or too young, not too short or too tall, not too fat or too much sharp bones stick out like knifes)
2. synchronized life habits
3. Similar value sets.  
4. Emotionally connected due to mutual understanding.
5. Can inspire and grow along with the partner.
6. Both of us would recognize, cherish and challenge one another for our ability/potential.
7. Will share the happiness of doing things and experiencing the same culture we both truly enjoy.

While we are young we would infatuated by the young and good lookings as if that is the only reason for us to extend out love. When a man is young, his decision and actions tend to be motivated by high level of testosterone, so it might be easier to give his body out without giving his heart, or giving his heart out altogether due to his body is surrendered.  (With less aggression, young women is not necessarily making better decisions due to their economical conditionas, traditional believes, and personal drives.) What worries me now in China is that chasing of beauty and youth become such a fashion across all ages of men.